Research suggests that 44 is the age at which we are most vulnerable
to depression. [Mostly because 44 is the age at which we can no longer
work the remote control without an instruction manual.]
Parents in Vermont said a teacher crossed the line between church and
state when he gave out a handout entitled "Why Jesus is Better than
Santa Claus." [But admitted later that the line about not having to
leave cookies for Jesus was a pretty good point.]
A consumer rights group has petitioned US regulators to bolster health
warnings on Botox. [Something like, "Warning: Botox may cause you to
look like Joan Rivers."]
A kitten survived a plane trip halfway across the United States after
accidentally ending up in a suitcase. [Which, coincidentally, is how
Britney Spears' kids are used to traveling.]
A hospital patient in Finland found a mouse head among the steamed
vegetables on his plate. [Obviously the mouse head did NOT belong in
the vegetables. It belonged in the casserole.]
We now return you to your regularly scheduled porn surfing...
